when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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