Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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