Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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