where does the pee come out of this thing
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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