You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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