i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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