A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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