I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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