apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
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Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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