There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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