I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize