Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize