we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
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AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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