I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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