i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
sex in a hospital.. check
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize