Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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