I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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