I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
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Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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