I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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