you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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