woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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