My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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