I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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