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If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
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