Dude my mom stole all your condoms
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize