My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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