YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize