Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How naked do you want me to be?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize