i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize