Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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