worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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