He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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