Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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