i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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