Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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