Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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