Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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