T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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