we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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