i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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