1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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