everyone is single if you try hard enough
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize