this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize