I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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