Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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