I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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