am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize