I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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