bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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