Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize